Yesterday, I listened to an audio tape, that an acquaintance loaned. It was wonderful, motivational, inspiring; you know all those good words, but I couldn’t believe that the primary speaker impulsively referred to one of her competitors as a cow.
It shocked me really. As I sat listening, I wondered how she thought these comments demonstrated good modeling for her guests or helped promote her message. When the goal is to motivate, lead, teach, encourage, and inspire, how could tearing another person down be apart of that equation?
I know mistakes and slip-ups happen, especially out of anger or fear, but time after time, she called this person a cow or demonstrated enough disdain to shock me. Was she a cow because she’s more well known, talented, respected, quoted, or followed? Was she a cow because she’s wealthier, prettier, smarter, or holds more credibility? Was she afraid of the competition?
I don’t know. I only know that it made me sick, turned me off, and led me to turning off the tape.
No, I’m not claiming to be perfect. I’ve made negative comments about others and was even known as the “gossip queen,” in middle school. At twelve years old, I called a longtime friend ‘fat’ at a memorial day picnic, but couldn’t understand why she ignored me for weeks. On another occasion, I shared what a friend told me in confidence, looking to gain attention and popularity, only to cause irreparable damage.
Obviously, I’ve learned that words may do damage, leave wounds, and can ricochet, hitting you harder and causing more damage upon return.Therefore, I stick with the old adage, ‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’ and its partner, ‘Think before you speak.’ They both do a good job of keeping me out of a lot of trouble and reminding me that I’m no longer the middle school gossip queen, but a responsible woman who has the power to inspire, uplift, and encourage… and honestly, why would I want it any differently?
Danielle Says: