One reader sent a message that ended with, “But what if she really looked like a cow?” I smiled, mostly because I didn’t know that folks were actually reading the posts, but also because it was pretty funny.
What do you say? I’m not sure what others would say, but since we’re all works in progress, living, learning, and thriving in hopes of becoming our best self, I’d say keep quiet, especially if I don’t have a compassionate alternative.
To do otherwise only heightens my ability to pretend that nothing’s wrong with me. To do otherwise only gives me the opportunity to pretend that I’m better, smarter, or more valuable for at least a minute. To do otherwise only gives me a temporary since of security.
And not only that, but who am I to judge? We all have physical imperfections and we certainly don’t need others pointing them out or bringing more attention to them. If someone wears a size 28, I’m sure they know they could loose a few pounds, so what would be the point of drawing attention to this shortcoming?
Stating the obvious would only serve to hurt the person in question and reflect the immaturity and insensitivity of the speaker. If someone really wanted to help and this was a friend, I might suggest working out together, visiting some healthier restaurants, or taking a cooking class together.
If I couldn’t commit to helping or this was only an acquaintance, I’d keep my mouth shut and remember to focus on what’s right. One of my former supervisor’s taught me this lesson ten years ago. We can always choose what we see. I could look at someone and see the hundred pounds they should lose or look at them and see their beautiful smile or the great fashion sense they used daily. It’s always up to me really: choosing my focus and choosing to find what’s best in people.