It's So Nice To Be Nice

OMG…this is my guilty pleasure as well…I laugh until I almost pass out…I’m sure some of these women vamp it up for the cameras, but its still quit entertaining…I do feel sorry for some of these marriages…I don’t think some of these couples realize it not about the wedding, but about the marriage…

@Retro-gamer,

If critics are saying “DO you realize that these people are just playing this up on camera because they want to have their 5 minutes of fame, right?” I would agree and think that’s obvious that they’re playing to the camera. However, I still don’t think it’s a complete Masquerade…..the behaviors on screen are a bit obnoxious and over the top, but are an accurate depiction for some. In passing, I have observed women talking to their husbands like children, cursing at friends, and making outrageous demands at the grocery store, at the mall, amusements parks, wherever.

When I think about Charm School, for instance, I can honestly say that I’ve observed such obnoxious behavior, while someone else might think it completely over the top and laughable, the ridicule, fighting, mannerisms, dress, etc are all common for some young women.

So, should take these shows seriously? Probably not. It is there for entertainment purposes. As you mentioned, most people are there for their five minutes of fame, but that’s not to say that the show isnt’ an accurate depiction of a select population. Unfortunately, for some the behavior on display is a reflection of how some people actually live their lives.

I’m not arguing that the behavior of the women on Bridezillas (or Charm School, or any of the other reality shows that seek to exploit the most shameful aspects of the human condition) is the opposite of what it’s like when they’re off camera. I’m offering that it’s being played up, hardcore, to the point the woman are reduced to caricatures of themselves.

They’re trying too hard.

I’m down to be entertained, but the fact that they try to pass these shows and these people’s antics off as ‘genuine’ insults my intelligence — and the idea that anything done on these shows would cause anyone over the age of 13 to blush, gasp, or bug their eyes out is troublesome, as it suggests an unhealthy degree of belief in something so obviously unreal to the point that it’s absurd.

I catch these shows every now and then myself (mainly because my girlfriend watches them), but they’re far too phony and formulaic to hold my interest for more than a few minutes.

– Peace

Of course background and experience is a factor; my comment was generalized. There are some tied-in assumptions made on my part that I figured were a given and didn’t warranted detailing. But, for the sake of argument and clarity: I figured anyone who’s proficient enough in information technologies to post on and maintain a web log, or aware enough of reality programming to be familiar with several of the more low brow shows mentioned in this thread, would be seasoned enough to realize that the antics of would-be reality TV starlets and garden variety, real world meanies (like the potty mouth grocery mothers you mentioned) are common place.

Now, I’m NOT saying that it isn’t eyebrow raising to hear and see unflattering behavior, or that you should be as cynical and jaded as I am (few are), but you can’t really can’t be “shocked” by such everyday exhibitions when you’re bombarded with them all the time, everywhere, in nearly every Walmart and on nearly every radio and television station, can you?

This is the information age. I’d expect anyone in mainstream, contemporary society, old enough to command a keyboard or a remote control, to be used to this sort of thing by their teenage years. Honestly, people being nasty, uncouth and self-centered is hardly surprising stuff anymore. I find foul mouthed families and insensitive, grandstanding, ego maniacal TV divas as off putting as the next guy or gal (more, actually). But “shocking”? Hardly.

I wish I was that innocent.

– Peace

How can anyone determine what will have shock value to another? Well, the simplest way is to exceed the established boundaries of what is typically seen as taboo and/or focus on the things that the target audience is particularly squeamish, fearful or sensitive towards.

It’s a tried formula that’s brought people like Howard Stern, Quentin Tarantino, Joe (Girls gone Wild) Francis, and countless other authors, film makers, entertainment executives, performers and dare devils success.

As exhausted and trite as I find it, ‘girls behaving badly’ is one of the most common and classic examples of cheap, “shocking” content, and writers know it. It’s something I hoped we’d have grown beyond by now, but I guess we haven’t come that far yet.

As for the degree of one’s exposure to reprehensible behavior and shameful conduct, I’ve already addressed this. If you have a television and you watch any of the shows that we’ve mentioned in this thread to the point of familiarity, this sort of thing isn’t unknown to you. If you go online and read some of the articles that you yourself have commented on here, this sort of thing isn’t unknown to you. If you’ve grown up in a well popularly area in virtually any developed, industrialized nation with free, (relatively) uncensored access to mass media and a socially diverse populace, this sort of thing isn’t unknown to you. And if ALL of these things apply, it’s safe to say that not only is this sort of behavior known, it’s commonplace.

Now, such behavior may not be typical, but EXPOSURE to said behavior certainly is.

Whether you’re actually comfortable with people behaving poorly, being rude and obnoxious, and making spectacles of themselves (whether on television, or in the supermarket) is another matter altogether. But let’s not pretend that this sort of thing is new, or otherwise ’surprising’.

With that said, your suggestion that: “When we stop being surprised or stop questioning inappropriate conduct, we’re actually saying that it’s acceptable and correct” is both grossly inaccurate and (perhaps unintentionally) misleading. It’s not a cause and effect relationship at all. I never married being ‘unmoved’ with being ‘indifferent’, nor have I suggested that we shouldn’t question inappropriate conduct, be it typical or otherwise.

I DO believe though that people being nasty, rude, uncouth and self-centered is the status quo, and concede that it is a pretty unfortunate fact of life — but I don’t think it’s a new development at all. Decency, honor and selflessness are exceptions to the human condition, not the rule. But I digress. The more I type the farther from the topic at hand we stray, and the more cynical I come across. I already fear that you’ve been reading more into this than I’m actually saying so I probably shouldn’t dig this hole any deeper. Perhaps we should just agree to disagree?

I don’t want to be misunderstood, or to misrepresent myself, and I certainly don’t mean to offend (if I have).

– Peace