Check the text

July 27th, 2009

42-20904472

I received this text message earlier today…

Everything happens for a reason. I just got this! How ironic! God has seen you struggling with something. God says its over. A blessing is coming your way….

Maybe it’s just me, but why would someone forward something like this…..why? We haven’t spoken or seen each other in over a year. Why not call to see if I’m really struggling ?

Instead, words of encouragement are sent via text, making me question her motive.  Does she feel good forwarding such messages? Does she feel like she’s accomplished something? Does she think she’s actually encouraging me?

I’m not saying don’t send them, I’m just saying that messages of this sort are much more meaningful if we actually have a relationship…..if you actually are familiar with my situation and current circumstances.

Maybe it’s just me, but the immediacy of texting, time consuming nature (you can only delete them one at a time), and the expense should encourage one to limit sending forwarded messages to acquaintances.

Messages of this sort should be emailed or placed on Facebook, where they’re not available straightaway and receipt doesn’t impact your monthly internet bill. Email also allows for mass deletion, which may not be an option on many cell phones.

This isn’t my only concern with texting, however. There are a number of people who text me when they want something. Yes, we talk on the phone, regularly, but if they need my help they send it via text……

I’m not sure if they’re afraid to hear the word, ‘no’ or they have trouble asking for what they need….but it’s their strategy, nonetheless.

This would be fine if this happened just once, but I have a couple of people in my life who make a habit of this.

Actually, there’s one person who I haven’t talked to in quite sometime, but whenever she needs something, she texts me and I respond.

I wouldn’t  go so far as to say that she’s using me. Maybe she is, but as I mentioned in a previous post, I don’t really believe that a person can take advantage of me without my permission….which leads me to the obvious question, why have I allowed this to go on?

I’m not sure, honestly. I haven’t been asked to do anything that stretched my resources. What’s a reference, recommendation letter, or ticket to a fundraiser?

But these thoughts  got me thinking about people I take advantage of. Initially, I couldn’t think of any, but soon one person came to mind.

It’s a person I like and I’m actually quite fond of, but I only contact this person when I need something….like a part-time job, a referral, or help for another friend.

And it’s not cool, so I apologized earlier today.

But now, I’ve got to figure out how I’m going to stop these unnecessary texts. Do you have any ideas? Is there any harm in sending forwarded jokes or words of encouragement  to acquaintances?

Interested in receiving ‘It’s So Nice to Be Nice’ via email? Just click the top tab in the right column and provide your email address when prompted. Email addresses are kept private and never given to a third party.

Tags: , , , ,

This entry was posted on Monday, July 27th, 2009 at 7:42 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

14 Responses to “Check the text”

Mary Says:

Girl I totally agree. I too get tired of the sporadic texts I receive from people I rarely talk to. I actually got a text message telling me someone had died. Now that really upset me. I think a phone call would have been in order. I guess it is just the times that we live in who knows. But this was a good article.

July 27th, 2009 at 8:35 pm

field negro Says:

Great insightful post! Just checking out your site, and I love what you did with the place. :)

Keep up the good work.

July 27th, 2009 at 10:35 pm

Danielle Says:

How nice field….thanks for stopping by.

July 27th, 2009 at 10:36 pm

Nicki Sunshine Says:

I hate forwards. (although I am guilty of sending out those that really touch me).. but I had a friend who sent dirty cartoons via text. Who wants to see that?

I think people send sporadic texts as an opener.. they want to talk/ check up on you but don’t really know what to say, so they pick this asinine, passive approach.

July 28th, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Retro-gamer Says:

I’ve never sent a single text message to a phone, and I doubt I will anytime in the foreseeable future. I’m pretty sure I’ve ranted about texting in your blog before so I’ll try not to beat a dead horse, but I will say that I think it’s gotten out of hand. It’s changing the way that we communicate and relate to each other for the worse, IMO.

I don’t have a problem with the technology, it’s just that texting has gone from a message relay system, to a primary, real time communication medium — especially with the younger crowd. Ironically, the same devices that are meant to connect people are actually disconnecting them from one another. Personal communication has taken a backseat to colder, more impersonal forms of communication, and few stop to consider the effect it has on relationships, and society as a whole.

With that said, if I ever received some corny ass spam message from an acquaintance I haven’t heard from in a while, I’d feel obligated to respond, telling them in no uncertain terms how lame I think that is, and ask that they either think little before pressing the forward button next time, or to please remove me from their contacts list.

I know I’m in the minority, but I have precious little patience for that sort of thing. Fortunately my antiquated “real world” communication skills are adequate enough that my friends know I don’t appreciate lame, unsolicited forwards, and dislike text messages in general. So I don’t get them.

– Peace

July 28th, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Danielle Says:

Retro-gamer,
You’re right, I need to say something soon. Unfortunately, that text was only one of many.

I do have a question however, how have you avoided texting? I know the simple answer is, you just don’t do it. But I do find it convenient at times, when a telephone call might be distracting to others around me and or inappropriate for the setting. Take class or work for instance.

I do have a friend like you;she’s also refrained from texting. I sent her a text once to confirm our meeting time. She responded, but politely told me that it’s something she doesn’t do. So I no longer send them to her.

July 29th, 2009 at 9:02 am

Danielle Says:

I just got another one, but I responded with the following: Thanks for the text, but I want you to know I have limited texting, so I use it for personal messages only. Thanks so much for understanding.

July 29th, 2009 at 10:46 am

Sylvia Says:

i really do hate that chain mail stuff on my phone and email.

i was just thinking about that.

from people who randomly hit me with just chain letters, I usually text or write back and ask nicely not to send me any

from friends I reply back to say thank you for sending me something but I’ve already got God’s blessings and much more coming my way so I don’t need to forward this out, but thanks.

LOL

July 29th, 2009 at 11:47 am

denitra Says:

It irritates the heck out of me when I received texts like what you are referring too. It bothers me even more when I receive a text from someone who rarely bothers to pick up the phone to ask how I am doing or what’s going on with me. This is extremely unthoughtful and selfish. So, most times, if I haven’t heard from you, especially if I’ve tried to reach out with a phone call (and the person didn’t answer) to simply not reply to the text. This has worked…but with a couple of instances this nonsense went on and I just had to be honest and tell them how I felt.

July 29th, 2009 at 11:52 am

Retro-gamer Says:

How I’ve avoided texting? Well, the easy answer is that I just don’t do it. Technically, I don’t even carry a cell phone. My girlfriend has one, and we live and work together, so it’s more or less a community phone (no need to have a second one), but she doesn’t text either.

I think that text messaging is an excellent, practical tool for those situations you mentioned (one or both parties being in a meeting or in class, etc.), but I’m not a student, and I don’t work in an office environment or go to theatres, so there’s never really a time when I can’t take a call. There’s also few things that I’d need to be informed of via text, really.

Most of my friends will either email or call me if they’re feeling chatty, or there’s something important to say. Now, it wouldn’t bother me if they sent me text messages, but I certainly wouldn’t converse with anyone in real-time via text unless it was some shady circumstances, like I’m hiding from someone’s husband or boyfriend (or girlfriend) in a closet, or under a bed or something. I tell myself that those days are behind me, but you never know.

– Peace

July 30th, 2009 at 4:26 am

I wish I was a cheetah Says:

I actually don’t mind those mass forwarded texts. I often find them very cute and sometimes funny. The only time I never appreciate them is when I’m waiting for a txt from a certain somebody, then the phone vibrates, I get all excited only to realize it’s one of those forwarded messages. Other than that, they never really bother me.

However, I’m not one to send those mass texts. And if I get a really nice one, I agree with what you said up there, I only send it to the people who I know will understand the reason I’m sending them that message, as in I don’t send it to everyone on my contacts list (like most people do).

July 30th, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Danielle Says:

Welcome I wish I was a cheetah!!!!! Thanks for joining the discussion and sharing your experiences. I’ve had instances like the one you mentioned as well…looking forward to a text, only to get a forward….that’s not fun at all.

July 30th, 2009 at 10:35 pm

The Sphinx Says:

OMG I absolutely HATE this shyt! And I have a friend (well, lately she’s been kind of annoying me – she always calls at least twice a day, and then when I finally answer, she doesn’t have anything to say, other than talking about some raggedy dude who’s playing her). Anyway, she is ALWAYS sending me forwards. Usually it’s some random crap such as “if you got this forward, you my ride or die b!tch, I got your back…” blah blah blah. SOOOO annoying… I immediately delete them. I have gotten to a point where I don’t even look at the message if it’s coming from her – I know it’s going to be crap. I’ve tried sending her stuff like “You and these text messages,” or something in a way to let her know to not send them. I don’t want to offend her, and I don’t know of a way to tell her to stop. Any ideas?

August 10th, 2009 at 10:46 pm

Danielle Says:

Thanks for stopping by!!!! I hear you! Even with the phone calls. I have one friend who calls and has nothing to talk about. I appreciate the thought. It is nice to have someone that wants to talk to you, but if you call, you must have a topic of discussion….at least to initiate the conversation. But no, you call because you’re bored….Anyway, its sad that you’re forced to avoid her messages. I certainly understand where you’re coming from….maybe you should tell her this. Explain that you you want to be a friend, but you’re afraid that you might miss something important because most of her texts are unnecessary forwards. Here’s a message I sent to someone after writing this post: Thanks for the text, but I want you to know I have limited texting, so I use it for personal messages only. Thanks so much for understanding. I hope this helps!!!

August 10th, 2009 at 10:52 pm

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>