It's So Nice To Be Nice

Yesterday morning on the Steve Harvey Morning Show the following letter was read and posted on their website:

Hello Steve and the Morning Crew:

I am writing to ask for your help. I am a nurse and currently work in a nursing home in Staunton, Virginia. We had a heart touching morning meeting today. Someone shared the story of a ten year old girl, Danielle Bartlett, who lives in Richwood, West Virginia. She’s dying from cancer and has only one wish.  She wants to receive 1,000 get well cards. I know it is a lot to ask, but I was so hoping that the morning crew and yourself would be so kind as to help us here at Envoy Health Care fulfill this precious wish. I am a mother of two and it would mean a lot to me if this were my child and there were people out there who would fulfill this one wish. I do hope this letter will touch the hearts of others to send cards as well.  Thank you so much for helping.

Please join me in sending a card to this little one.

Here’s the address:

Danielle Bartlett

260 Country Club Road

Richwood, West Virginia 26261

Have a wonderful weekend!

I sent the following email to a friend/former colleague:

Haven’t seen you in a while. Let me know if you’re free for lunch or dinner.

danielle

She replied with:

That sounds like a good idea.  I’m  really in need of some adult conversation. I’m going to the Frankie Beverly and Maze concert next week with my 12-year old son!!!!

But this response really annoyed me and got me thinking. I wondered why she was unable to get another adult to go with her.  Now, I know some parents take their children to concerts for exposure, but it was obvious from her response that that was not the case.

She is going to the concert with her son, not because she wants to, but because she doesn’t want to go alone and couldn’t find another adult to tag along.

But did she even ask?

Yes, it sounds simple enough, but I really think a lot of people miss out because they don’t ask for what they want. We’ll pray and make our requests known to God, but can’t make simple requests known to those closest too us. When He told us to “ask,” was he just talking about asking Him?

Now, this isn’t bible study, but I am curious – Is it hard for you to tell people what you want from them and how you want it?

The teacher asked the pupils to tell the meaning of loving-kindness. A little boy jumped up and said, “Well, if I was hungry and someone gave me a piece of bread, that would be kindness. But if they put a little jelly on it, that would be loving-kindness.”

Click here for 100 kindness ideas.

Last Tuesday, I sat in class with a group of seven school counseling interns, all looking to complete their graduate requirements by December.

One of my classmates said, “Well, you know there are no jobs. We’re not going to be able to find school counseling jobs in this economy.”

I was sitting next to her, but said nothing. The professor offered a response that I can’t remember. I only remember thinking, “Why would you think that?”

Why would you think that you can’t find a job?

Now, I know it’s important to be realistic and honest with yourself, but such a statement is a recipe for failure and disaster, one that could never  serve the speaker or anyone else for that matter.

Instead of thinking you won’t, think when. Think: How many nos will I hear before my yes, because a yes will surely come!

I should have told her that if she wants prosperity, a new job, or abundance, then focus on that, focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.

Instead of saying, “There are no jobs. I’m not going to be able to find a school counseling job in this economy,” I have begun to visualize my future office, my school,  and the programs I would be interested in offering.  I also know that I want to be in a diverse environment, one where I can thrive and grow.

But I’m not just visualizing and dreaming. I’ve also looked at the market in other areas around the country, with networking becoming a huge priority. Joining the Michigan School Counseling Association and attending a number of workshops and conferences in the area have provided invaluable connections, information, and resources.

Yes, a poor economy is a fact that I have to work with, but I don’t believe in giving myself an excuse or  a way out of creating the life I want.

What are your thoughts?

I know you probably remember the post on annoying co-workers, but I’ve found another interesting website, Ihatemyinlaws.com. Actually, it’s actually pretty sad when you think about what these wives have to deal with.

Here’s one sample entry:

Okay, Puffy, you got your dang Kona coffee per your whining request before we left for Hawaii. Choke on it, witch!!

Fantasy: Puff the Manic Dragon puts the coffee in the coffee maker and makes her coffee. She takes a nice big swallow, ahhhh how refreshing, but … wait… what’s this? He face starts swelling like a puffer fish! She must be allergic to it somehow!

She dials 911 but the operator can’t understand her nonsensical garble since her tongue is swollen to three times it’s natural size. About the size of a big burrito.

She runs outside and grabs the mailman who hits her with a stick because he thinks she’s a mad dog.

Realizing it’s a human-like creature, the mailman calls the ambulance.

It’s dispatched but they can’t find the house and drive up and down the wrong street 50 times until they find the right street and see Puff laying on the sidewalk gasping for air. By this time she looks like Jabba the Hut. Confused and panicked, they run over her by accident.

I just love happy endings.

Ouch! All of that over a cup of coffee……Wow!

Here’s one more:

I found a red rash on my breast earlier today. I am afraid it may be inflammatory breast cancer. I will most likely being scheduling a doctor’s appointment tomorrow to have it checked out. The sad part? If I die of cancer, my in-laws will be overjoyed. They will be scouting for my replacement before I’m even cold in the ground. My SIL, who has always been jealous of me and copies everything I do, will force herself into our home to rifle through my things, my recipes and jewelry boxes.

My husband won’t know what hit him.

Are you kidding me? Why is this woman concerned about her recipes and jewelry if she has a rash on her breast?

Wow!

I’m sort of torn, honestly. On the one hand,  the posts offer comic relief for outsiders, but for struggling couples, the site offers support and an open forum for torn wives and husbands who lack love and the familial support needed to bloom into strong long-lasting unions.

Any thoughts? Do you have any strange in-law stories? Were the problems ever resolved?

How a Malawian teenager harnessed the power of the wind.

William Kamkwamba’s parents couldn’t afford the $80 yearly tuition for their son’s school. The boy sneaked into the classroom anyway, dodging administrators for a few weeks until they caught him. Still emaciated from the recent deadly famine that had killed friends and neighbors, he went back to work on his family’s corn and tobacco farm in rural Malawi, Africa.

With no hope of getting the funds to go back to school, William continued his education by teaching himself, borrowing books from the small library at the elementary school in his village. One day, when William was 14, he went to the library searching for an English-Chichewa dictionary to find out what the English word “grapes” meant, and came across a fifth-grade science book called …….to continue reading, click here.

“Danielle, you look fantastic!” were the words a friend said when we met for breakfast Friday morning.

She continued with, “I can tell you’re in a good place. It looks like you’re enjoying the internship.”

What she didn’t know is that I’m a recovering night owl and have recently begun a new night time regiment. Instead of watching late night television and writing blog posts (good topics seem to come at midnight….lol), I’ve been forcing myself to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

I guess, I’m not really forcing myself; I’m just giving my body what it needs.

And it seems to be working.

I immediately noticed a few changes. I feel refreshed, but my skin looks better and my mood is significantly brighter in the mornings.

But here are other benefits that you may not be aware of:

• It helps to repair your body – Your body produces extra protein molecules while you’re sleeping, and these help to mend your body at a cellular level. The damage from all kinds of things, such as stress, pollutants, infection, sun exposure and so on, is repaired while you’re happily in the land of nod.
• Helps maintain a healthy heart – Your heart and cardiovascular system is constantly under pressure, and one of the benefits of sleep is that it helps to reduce the levels of stress and inflammation in your body. High levels of ‘inflammatory markers’ are linked to heart attacks, heart disease and strokes. Sleep can also help keep blood pressure and cholesterol levels (which play a role in heart disease) lower.
• Reduces stress – A good night’s sleep can lower blood pressure and the elevated levels of stress hormones which are a natural result of today’s fast paced lifestyle. Too much stress causes excess ‘wear and tear’ on your body, and increases the aging and degeneration of organs, cells and other body parts. By reducing high levels of stress, sleep helps to reverse these effects and encourages a state of relaxation.
• Improves your memory – That ‘foggy’ feeling that you struggle with when deprived of sleep makes it difficult to concentrate. This often leads to not being able to ‘commit to memory’ facts, faces, lessons or even conversations! Sleeping well eliminates these difficulties because as you sleep, your brain is busy organizing and correlating memories. One of the great benefits of sleep is that it allows your brain to better process new experiences and knowledge, increasing your understanding and retention. So, next time you hear someone say “why don’t you sleep on it”, take their advice!
• Can help control your body weight – Now, this one might surprise you! One of the lesser known benefits of sleep is that it helps regulate the hormones that affect and control your appetite. Studies have shown that when your body is deprived of sleep, the normal hormone balances are interrupted and your appetite increases. Unfortunately this increase in appetite doesn’t lead to a craving for fruits and veggies, no, instead your body longs for food high in calories, fats and carbohydrates! So, if you’re trying to lose those stubborn few pounds that just keep hanging around, make sure that getting enough sleep becomes a priority.

Any thoughts?  Do you get enough sleep? What’s about a sleep routine?

No article or video today, but here’s a question:  What random acts of kindness have you done recently?

I’ll start. I invited a friend out for a night on the town today. Even though we are friends,  we only talk three times a year (at the most) and haven’t seen each other in over 14 months. Our communication is usually via email, text, or facebook.

What I do know is that this former colleague works a 9-5, has a family, is attending school, and has a business on the side…..so the focus is mostly on work, work, and more work. Because of this knowledge, I thought an unexpected  evening out, would give her something to look forward to, and bring a little sunshine to her  long and often overwhelming day.

What about you? Have you brightened someone’s day recently?

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

Recently, a graduating senior came into the counseling suite complaining about her mom, with whom she’s just been reunited .

Obviously, I can’t get into the details, but one thing she discussed was her disappointment in her mom. In her words, “My mother is always moving…she’s on welfare…… I just hate her….I don’t want to be like her…….She doesn’t do anything for me.”

Of course, we know that there are always two sides to every story, but unfortunately, for some of our children, parents don’t always offer stability, consistency, or proper nurturing.

So what is a child to do?

My supervisor (as you all know, I’m interning now) and I suggested that she look to  her future and set goals, with the hope of creating the life that she wants. She’s been contacting colleges (we’re encouraging her to look outside of Detroit if possible) and has begun looking for work. We also offered a few anger management strategies and plan to work with the school’s social worker in the future…..

But I still want to know what is a child to do?

On the inside

when the child knows something is missing

when home isn’t right

when your biggest advocate has forsaken you

when you don’t feel safe and protected

when she’s sleeping on the couch with her brothers and sisters

when the best meal is the school’s meal

when her brothers and sisters all have different fathers

What is that child supposed to do?

On the inside……

Yes, there is forgiveness and possibly being an inspiration to younger siblings…

But can one ever forgive…….the absent parent

a depressed parent

an irresponsible parent

a neglectful parent?

What are your thoughts? Have you encountered anything similar? Were you able to forgive your parent?